I wish someone will knock me down and take away my memories.

Sometimes i really don't have the right to angry on someone who has no relationship with me. Is the matter whether they want to tell you or not and they got their own choice since they're not anyone to you. I do feel unhappy and sad about it but i can't do anything cause we are just friend. I can say it turns to hi bye? We don't really talk much even there is something we can talk about but still you will prefer to talk to other classmate and not me. I really feel unhappy and yet i can't do anything cause this is what i deserve when i'm not in a clear position. Those moments are the most suffering moments especially the time when you're around me and we acted like stranger. I do think of ending myself from this world but what about my parents and those innocent people who cares about me? I reconsider and take over the stupid decision that i plan to do. Right now, i'm so suffocating! I wish someone will knock me down and i forget everything in my life.

I did something stupid. I cried in college today and walked back home from college. I lie to everyone that someone is fetching me home but i really walked in the dark all by myself. I don't know what is going on with me. I had been baring things for weeks and finally today i cried out all. What i really cannot think is that i walk home alone that moment, i do feel like fainting but i told myself i cannot faint and i have to reach my destiny.

What is love?

Dear bloggie,

There is a question that wonder in my mind for a very long time, "What is love and who is to be love and how does love feel?". I can't answer myself for this question because it makes me confuse all the time and it always make things went wrong. I was asked by someone for once, "Who do you love the most?" , "Do you still love someone?", i was thinking what is love and how should i answer this question. Until now, i'm hanging around since i don't know what does that mean. Am i being with someone just because of responsibility or it was a true love? I wish there is someone who clear me up with this cause i really don't like it hanging around me anymore. I wanted to move forward but just because i don't know the answer for this, i can't do anything and stuck over there. Goshh!!

Memories in life

Dear bloggie, 

Last week i got a job in Ipoh for IT Fair. I'm happy to work cause i can earn some salary by my own without asking from my parents. That's the best part, since i can spend the money that i earn without feeling heartache for spending the money that my parents gave me. It was awesome to work freely because the person in charge is not too strict or anything and i don't really have the potential to direct sell products to people.

Not to forget that i went to EuroFun Fair with my buddy, Kelly, Sister, Boyfie and love Des. It was awesome in the fun park but it also cost a lot. The price per game is almost RM10 per person so we just manage to spend for a game and others on those throwing for puppets game.

During working time

The stupid Desmond, trying to act like he's in other country

The Wheel :D

The game that we played.

Love Des :D

The thing that we won and used RM60 for it

070613
Yesterday was SuperHero Fiesta party in college held by INTIMA. It was my first time to join this kind of party in my college life. Although it was nothing special but it recall my memory in Secondary moment where i used to join all parties held by society. It was like fun for a bunch of friends to play and enjoy other than hanging around with alcohol. Really thanks to Kelly cause she made me join the party and makes me feel the real thing that i really need to feel in my college moment.

Get away from the party and capture it alone

The end of the party where people said PARTY STARTED

The guy that can make great beatbox and i just admire the beatbox!

The hanging moment

Dear blogger, 

There is always a moment where you will be hanging in the middle and don't know how to make decision. At this moment, you will be easily influence by others especially when others are in the same situation with you and you can see the optimistic outcome of the decision that they make then you will feel like follow their decision will make things right. The answer is actually wrong. Different people has different level of patients. Is just the matter of whether how you control and use up to the limit. I bared with the limits for quite some time and I finally realize where my limit stands. This was the first time I feel like getting out from that group. I just feel that I bear enough of what I should bear with. Although I do not dare to voice out but it doesn't mean that I'm ok with it. If it happens once or twice, I still can move on with it but is just getting more pessimistic. My anger is there, I can't control it and all I need it to be alone. I wanna stay alone and make my mind empty before my patients hit the limit. Hope that I can clear everything up and restart to the base of my limit and not to the top

Secret that you hide

Dear bloggie, 

The past forth night, my body is not feeling well and at that moment i really don't know who to seek for but lucky I have her to answer who i should look for. After that, i decided to look for doctor because the pain and the curiosity is really unable to bear anymore. Visiting the doctor is the most killing moment for me because she keeps on give me lots of different prediction which makes me worry and scare more. After the test that she asked me to take, the outcome was not good and she tried to save my body before the hospital operates me. Now i'm maintaining and taking care properly of my health for 2 weeks because the only chance to avoid from operating me. Yesterday was the first day i start the caring mission and it was kinda suffering because i have to drink plenty of water and go toilet often. However, i believe i can handle this because is only two weeks. 13 days more to go. I'm unable to tell them because i don't want them to worry about my situation although i don't know they will worry or not. Bless that i'm getting better on this Saturday so i can go back on Sunday.

P/S: Telling lies to the one you loved is the most suffer thing but making him worry is making me unhappy.

Assessment week

Good evening baby blog,

Now i understands what does assessment week means. The week that is pack of assignment to complete everyday without fail. Currently I'm having two group assignments, one portfolio report, 3 tutorials, 3 REAP report, Go Green report and one subject to be studied for the week , on my hand. Just to remind myself that i had not complete any of the task i mention above. Gosh!!! Do i have extra time to focus on the subject that i aim to score high?? I wish there is if not i really don't know how to pass through myself on the grade. 

Well, here is my plan for the whole week and i hope it really works. 

TUESDAY : COMPLETE THE TUTORIALS + STUDY

WEDNESDAY : COMPLETE THE PORTFOLIO REPORT + GO GREEN REPORT

THURSDAY : START THE MARK 343 GROUP ASSIGNMENT *if all submitted their parts to me*

FRIDAY : STUDY MARK 333 + ACCY 200

SATURDAY : DO UNCOMPLETED TASK LEFT

SUNDAY : COMPLETE 3 REAP REPORT

Actually i feel like completing one of the tutorial because i had started with one question in the late evening and it motivates me to complete the other part but is late now and my body is getting unhealthy *pimples coming out, skin coming off, brain super active at night but not morning* terrible body.

P/S: I hate my finger nails because it makes me hard to type and is so damn noisy. Irritating indeed.